Cheer Up! Things Could be Much, Much Worse!

lirianotongue2.jpgAfter being utterly and thoroughly owned by the Evil Empire this season, the Twins have slid back to the
.500 mark for the hundred-somethingth time (oh, and you’re welcome,
Yankee fans).  They currently sit in third place, four games behind the
division-leading Kittehs and two behind the second-place Pale Hosers. 
All of which is very, very depressing.  But take heart Twins fans,
we’re not the only ones sharpening our razor blades and drawing a bath:

The Royals are teh suck.  This is hardly news.  But this team has so many problems, it’s difficult to know where to begin. I mean, good God, they replaced Sidney Ponson with Bruce Chen in the starting rotation!  What, Buddy Groom wasn’t available?  Ooh, and now the infield will be manned by both Ryan Freel AND
Willie Bloomquist!  Obviously, GM Dayton Moore hates his job and is
trying his best to get fired.  That should just about do it.

The Cubs took a team that won 98 games last year and made the
playoffs for the third time in six seasons, and tore apart the roster
as rebuilding teams are wont to do. Perhaps it was simply an emotional
response to getting swept in the NLDS by the Dodgers, or maybe they
felt they needed to dump salary to expedite efforts to sell the team,
but they traded away key contributors like Mark DeRosa and Jason
Marquis without getting much in return.  The Baby Bears are currently
in third place behind the division-leading Cardinals and a Brewers team
that features both Jeff Suppan and Seth McClung in its rotation.  Now,
the Cubs are only three games out of first, but even with a recent hot
streak they still have the third-worst offense in the league (only the
Diamondbacks and the Padres are more futile at the plate). Of course, this is all a goat a cat Milton Bradley’s fault.

The Diamondbacks have committed
77 errors this season, the second-most in baseball (only the Nats have
committed more).  Granted, errors and fielding percentage aren’t
exactly the best way to measure a team’s defensive efficiency, but I think if you commit three errors in one inning, it’s safe to assume that you are, in fact, not good at baseball.

I’m going to refrain from taking shots at the Nati(o)nals.  It’s just too easy.  I did get a kick out of the “Oh no: no O!” wardrobe malfunction, though.  At least Montreal Washington’s ineptitude is entertaining:


(image courtesy

Oh, and Man Muscles is now officially atop the leaderboard (if that’s not enough, you can also see it here, here, here, and here).  He might not finish the season batting .400, but he has a good shot at winning yet another batting title.  So at least we have something to look forward to, I guess.


  1. Fenway Bleacher Creature

    Nice post and I love that picture!
    I am also totally dumbfounded as to all the Cubs’ shaking up of their roster during the offseason.


  2. raysrenegade

    It has been a year of those “little to the left” moments for most of the teams.
    But some of the teams have given us moments no one is every going to forget, like the 2-out adventure of Milton Bradley, the Wrigley Field edition.
    And KC getting Ryan Freel might be a good thing if he stays away from the walls. He has a wild tendency to hurt himself, or is that considered baseball S&M with the only leather on your hand?
    Peter Gammons chatted about how 25 or so teams are entering that era of parity, you know that things that is sparking renewed interest in that game with the pigskin they like to play from August to January every year.
    All I know is that throughout the season teams go through cycles of activities that pull our hair out……….I guess the only answer is to shave my head and go to game with horse tranquilizers in my system.
    At least then I will be acting like the Oakland A’s fans.

    Rays Renegade

  3. Erin Kathleen

    Jeff,So far so good for the Cardinals. Wow, the Cubs are in danger of falling in fourth place behind the Reds. With no help in sight. I guess the Twins aren’t doing so bad, after all.Julia,Sorry, you guys are just going to have to beat the Royals if you want to reclaim first place.Fenway,Thanks! To be fair, though, the Cubs have also suffered a lot of injuries that have made the loss of DeRosa and Marquis just that much worse. They would probably be leading the division right now if it weren’t for Aramis Ramirez missing so much of the season, and guys like Derrek Lee and Alfonso Soriano slumping.Rays,Well, I enjoyed that play by Bradley 🙂 But yeah, baseball is definitely a frustrating game. Both series against the Yankees were like that: everything that could have gone right for the Yankees did, everything that could have gone wrong for the Twins did. That isn’t to say that luck had everything to do with it, New York does have a very good team this year, but the Twins really should have won at least three of those games.

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